Hey sweet gals! Happy Memorial Day weekend. Hope you guys are getting a three day weekend! This quote really spoke to me and I wanted to share it with you. I know the grieving process is personal and I know the time table can vary. But, I don’t want to see you give up on you and your lives! We are all wired to love and it hurts to feel rejected but it’s part of the process. I’m not saying I like it by any means! I hope you can take time to let the words in this quote really sink in. You deserve good things and nice and kind people in your lives. Don’t let one bad egg ruin all the potential that is around. Men are often very selfish even in the best of situations. In our situation I think it’s doubled! And we all deserve better!!! We do we do we do!! Constantly remind yourself of this and then remind yourself again and again to not give up. I have to do it too. Also, when you can, inject a little humor into life and/or the dating process. I think it can alleviate some of the stress and fear! I mean it’s all sort of silly the way we behave and none of us really know what we’re doing. Allow yourself to go with the flow and use your intuition to determine what is or isn’t right for you. It’s very ok to say no to things if they don’t feel right. I mean men certainly do not worry about being too nice so maybe we should follow suit! And, like this quote says, be determined to rise!!
Happy weekend! Go do something fun!!
Hello my sweet ladies!
I have been in a bit of a sea of misery the last several months as far as my job has been concerned. I’ve been beyond busy, working overtime and the stress level has gotten a bit out of control. But, I still am here and read your posts when I get a chance and want to keep this blog somewhat active, but my time as of late has just been very limited.
I had to focus on job stuff for quite a few months but am trying to focus back on dating again and boy is it not a piece of cake. I’m trying online stuff and am meeting a man tomorrow for a drink, so we’ll see. I don’t expect much from these little dates but it’s important to put ourselves out there and you never know when you might meet someone cool.
I hope you all are taking time to regroup and heal after all the trauma that you have experienced in loving an unavailable man. It takes work. It really does but I promise you that a day will come when you don’t think about them so much and the sun feels warmer and you want to try again with someone else. Or, you just want the possibility of trying with someone else. There’s no fast and easy answer and I had to learn that day by day as I fought to regain some sort of happiness in my life again. But, it ‘s so worth it to keep up the good fight, if you will, because if you don’t, who will do it for you? The answer is nobody! We have to be our own best friends and advocates. It’s not easy at all because I feel that most of us that end up in these situations are strong nurturer types and turning that softness and understanding around on ourselves feels a bit unnatural but just go with it…it will in time start to make a difference and then you’ll be ready again to give and also never be willing to over compromise. And, all of this pain and unpleasantness must lead to something better down the road. I think it just takes some time to figure out and time to accept that we’ll never quite be the same gal we were before. Betrayal truly is painful and I know we all felt so used, lied to and in the end betrayed even as we accept our own part in the situation. It had been a huge life lesson for me and I’ve hated it at times but I suppose it had to be part of my path for some reason. I don’t fully understand it, but I learned to accept it. There are some less than honorable people in this world, that is true and hopefully I’m learning to be more selective about who I let into my life while still be open to the possibility that there are good people too. It’s not an easy line to walk, but I’m working on it.
My computer is really acting up so I’m going to end off here. Enjoy your weekend and will work on getting more posts up.
Ok, one more for Valentines. We all need some light hearted fun between our serious conversation that we have each day.
Lol!! Isn’t this the truth!! Happy valentines my dear sweet gals!! Remember what an amazing loving person you are each day and that one day your love and care will be fully appreciated.
Hey guys. We’re getting crowded with comments in the previous post so let’s start a new thread here. Of course feel free to continue previous conversations.
I’ve been thinking a lot about a comment Lori posted about her therapist asking why she loved her MM? I’ve also been thinking in connection with a man I’ve recently tried to date, “how did he make you feel?”
I still believe you can’t help who you love and who your attracted to. But when I think of times I’ve not felt good as a result of trying to be with someone or in a relationship, I’ve often stayed much longer in a less than ideal situation because if those “in love” feelings. Which I think to be fair, are valid and legitimate feelings. But if the other side of the equation is a man not valuing me (usually through his actions) and not treating me well, I have to learn to let these loves go. It can hurt for sure and you can be left alone but there are worse things in life. We can’t put the attraction and love ahead of everything so we end up lost and hurt in the end. Which, I know I have done because I thought it was a true connection and maybe it was but when it’s not reciprocated I’m learning the skill of walking away. You don’t have to be super sweet or nice about it or a total bitch about it but it definitely can’t be left to fester as I know for sure that strategy doesn’t work.
Thanks for all the great comments ladies. I’m so grateful to you for participating in this tiny little corner of the universe. Wishing you all happy times ahead and maybe an available man or two who treat you like precious gold!!
Check out this clip from the show Louie. What a way to shift your thinking on heartbreak. Not them I’m going to seek it out again :-) but such an interesting And I think wise perspective.
Elizabeth Gilbert posted this today and I wanted to share it with you guys. It’s quite a powerful message and the delivery is so charismatic! You may have to link to youtube to watch but it’s definitely worth it and it’s just a 3 min video! I love what I’ve been reading from you guys. Even in dating you still have people walking away or uninterested and it’s so inspiring to me to read the strong comments and empowering comments and to shift focus to the things that are within control instead of focusing on what can’t be changed. Hope you guys have a great week and that we can all shift to a little brighter and stronger space as we move along in this life! Thank you do much for all the sharing and comments you post.
I want to wish everyone the happiest of New Years! What a crazy journey it is that we experience when we agreed to be the OW. And as much as I’ve regretted my decision at times, at the same time, I’m where I am in life exactly because of this decision. It opened up a new path of possibility that frankly might not have been possible had I not hit the bottom of the rock. It may have taken me a long time to realize this but it is the truth Had I stayed in my old life and became perhaps his main woman I still would have been stuck in the same locale that doesn’t quite do it for me and definitely would never had ventured out to change my career path. I’ve moved, met new friends, dated different men, some of who have been very handsome and fun and even started this blog. Lol!
My heart and life were forever changed. I did exierience extreme grief in the process of getting here and I know how devastating it can be to feel so discarded after loving someone so completely and feeling so connected only then to see a completely different man appear when the going got tough. It was absolutely beyond painful to exierience that. But, it caught hold of me and shifted my life.
And, although I don’t wish this for anyone, it’s my personal story and path… The good and the bad. Ya know??
Please be safe whatever you may be doing tonight. Be kind to yourself and take a risk… Who knows what great person you may meet or who may be in your new future.
hugs and love…
Please read this over and over until it permeates your heart. Know that you are worth being treated with love and respect no matter the situation.
Carry on… Don’t give up on you!!
That is all.